There is a woman who works in a different department that I’ve known for several years, and I consider her to be a good friend. We e-mail most ever day and talk on the phone occasionally. We’ve never met, although I’ve asked her to dinner a few times, just as a friend, but she declined every time. She’s a recovering alcoholic and she consults with her AA group about everything, and they felt it would not be good for her to go out with me, which didn’t make sense to me, but oh well. Last Friday we were discussing relationships, and I mentioned that I don’t see myself being in a relationship for the foreseeable future, and she asked me why I felt that way. I tried to be vague about it, telling her that there were issues I was dealing with which made it complicated to be in a relationship right now. But then she worried that I was sick, or something like that, so I figured I should tell her the truth, that I was transsexual. I composed a letter over the weekend and e-mailed it to her Monday morning. Shortly after I sent it she replied that she was stunned, but didn’t have much else to say about it, and I haven’t heard from her since then. I’m trying to be patient, realizing that it takes some people more time than others to deal with the news, but I’m a little disappointed and saddened that she is apparently having such a hard time accepting the news. I suspected she might have a tough time accepting it because she is very conservative and religious, but I honestly thought our friendship was strong enough that it wouldn’t be a big issue. But it appears I might be wrong. I’m realistic enough to realize that not everyone is going to be okay with the fact that I’m ts, and that it’s to be expected that I’ll lose some friends over it, but it still hurts. I really thought our friendship mattered more to her than to let it go over this. I’ve heard a lot of people say that when you transition you quickly find out who your true friends are, and I guess I’m finding that out.
I’ve been on HRT for nine weeks now, and I’m discovering just how much it hurts to accidently bump my developing chest! Ouch!!! I’d always read how tender breasts get when development starts, and they weren’t kidding! Yikes!!!
Summer continues to be hot and humid, although it’s cooled down to the low 90s. I am counting down the days until summer ends and the cooler autumn weather arrives!
The garden is doing well, although the bugs and animals have been extremely challenging this year. We’ve been overrun with grasshoppers this year, which eat everything. Those nasty green hornworms have been out in force and have done a lot of damage to my tomatoes, but I seem to have that under control. And then there are the deer and rabbits, who have done a ton of damage to my tomatoes. I built another fence which seems to be working, except I can’t fit all the potted tomatoes in the fenced area, so I moved those in front of my garage, and hadn’t had any problems until yesterday morning when I found something had eaten a bunch of the tomatoes and plants. So now I drag the remaining potted tomatoes into the garage every night, and drag then out before I leave for work in the morning, which is a pain, but it seems to be my only option at this point. But the tomatoes that have survived are delicious! We have more green beans than we can eat, but unfortunately the peas haven’t done as well. We’ll have several cantaloupe ready to pick in the coming weeks. The watermelon have been slower to bud this year for some reason, but there are finally some melons growing now. And tonight I’m making my first batch of home-made tomato sauce! Yum!
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5 comments:
Well girl glad HRT is going well. I hope your friend can understand but if she can't, just know that some people will and some people won't. Sometimes who does and who doesn't surprises us.
*hugs*
<3 Jerica
There could be different reasons for her not responding and maybe she's taking it hard because she was holding out hope that the two of you would be more than friends? I know when I told my ex she almost immediately questioned her own femininity and maybe in a way this woman is doing the same thing? Maybe you could send her an email asking her how she is doing with it all and re-invite her to dinner. Just a thought.
I'd be interested in seeing updated profile pictures as your hormone treatment progresses.
And "cooling off to the lower to mid 90s" is funny, coming from a fellow Missourian! It's not the heat that's killing me, it's the humidity!
Lol, In recovery, conservative and very religious? I would put high hopes on developing a relationship there. Depending on where they are at in their recovery people in 12-step programs are often discouraged from getting into relationships. They need to work out their own issues before taking on the inevitable baggage that comes getting emotionally close to another person.
Our temps here have cooled off down to the upper 90's. Your garden would be having a tough time here. The local corn crops are already being written off as a loss, peanuts and cotton are probably not far behind.
Jerica:
I guess it’s true that you may think you know someone, but until you come out to them you really can’t be sure about how strong the friendship really is.
Jane:
I considered that maybe she was hoping for more than just friendship, but I’ve always been upfront about not wanting to be more than just friends. She knows she’s had a standing invitation to dinner anytime she wants, so there’s no point to asking her again.
I do need to get a more recent photo for my profile. But I need to get my hair to where it looks somewhat styled and not like a big out of control mess!
Yeah, the humidity is the worst part. How I long for those days when I lived in the Pacific North-west where we didn’t have this miserable humidity!
Sophie:
Yeah, even if I were looking for a relationship I would have big reservations about having a relationship with her since there would be some major obstacles to deal with. She’s been in recovery for quite a few years, so I would think she’s be to the point where she could have a relationship if she wanted. She just seems to be very dependent on her AA for everything, which always left me a bit uneasy. Sort of reminds me of the Borg collective from Star Trek.
Seems like another tough year for gardeners. Blight seems to be taking hold of my tomatoes now, so that’s the next battle to fight, although that will inevitably be a losing battle. Hopefully I can keep the plants going for at least another month. I’m just sort of discouraged about the garden right now.
My tomatoes have been crap this year. I'm not sure why. I only got one plant that bears fruit (it's a Japanese Black). Ah, well. My jalapenos, bell peppers, and basil have done gangbusters.
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