Big steps

I’ve been at my new job about two months now and things continue to go really well, both professionally and personally. I went out shopping with one of the other woman in my office, which was a really fun experience. She was helping me pick out some business casual outfits since I’ve decided that I’m going full-time at the beginning of the new year. When I first got the job I hadn’t even planned to say anything about being trans until next spring, just to give me time to settle into the job and to get a feel for the people I’d be working with. But I ended up telling them much sooner than I anticipated because of how well we all get along and because it was really difficult to stay in 100% male mode while at work.

The Program Director thought it would be helpful for everyone if we had a “transgender awareness” meeting, which I was okay with. I assumed it would be a small get-together of our people along with someone from the LGBT Center, but it’s sort of taken on a life of its own and now there are people from other departments who will be there, along with an upper level university system director. I’m sort of uncomfortable because I don’t like people to make a big deal about all this just because of me, but I see this as a great opportunity to educate a lot of people at the university, so I’m going along with everything. The meeting will be in early December, so at least it’s not too far away.

I’m still amazed that I’ve reached the point where I’m able to go full-time; not just in terms of the situation at work, but more that I’m emotionally ready to take this big step. There were times when I truly felt I’d never be comfortable enough with myself to do this. I still can’t believe how much things have changed in only two short months. But I suppose there were changes going on inside me during the time I was unemployed, I just didn’t notice.

Along with going full-time I’ve decided it’s time to legally change my name. I hadn’t really given this much thought up to now, but I think the time is right to do it. I just need to make sure I have all my ducks in a row before filing the petition. I’m waiting to hear back from the HR people at work to see what needs to be done on that end, and then I think I’m ready to go! I’m most excited about getting a new driver’s license and no longer having to use the old one, which is just another reminder of the unhappy person I used to be. I don’t think I’ll tell my dad about the name change because that might be a bit too much for him to handle since I was named after him and his father.

So, life is good and things are moving along and I feel so happy and so fortunate that things have worked out for me.