Goodbye 2011, hello 2012!

I say goodbye to 2011 with mixed emotions. The first nine months were a time filled with depression, fear, and anxiety, but the last three months have been filled with happiness, fulfillment, and a renewed sense of hope. I can look forward to the new year with hopes and dreams and a sense of contentment that has been missing for a long time. I am certainly a much different person than I was as I ushered in 2011. I feel stronger for having survived being unemployed and the resulting depression, but I also feel more vulnerable because I fell so deeply into the depression and lost all hope at times. But I’m not dwelling on the past, it is what it is and I did the best I could to survive. I choose to look towards the future and living a life where I can simply be myself. And in just over three weeks I will have my name legally changed, and no longer have to feel a sense of embarrassment every time I need to show my driver’s license. Another layer of my old life that I will shed.

As my youngest son prepares to leave for the Navy in July I feel a sense of pride and happiness, but also some sadness. He’s about to embark on a new chapter in his life and I am so excited for him, but I will miss him terribly. He’s been a handful during his teenage years, but he’s still the same sweet and thoughtful person that I love with all my heart. I feel proud of my oldest son for overcoming the many obstacles he’s had to deal with to reach this point of his life. I’m excited for him about the purchase of his house and land, and all the dreams he has for that. My heart breaks for his recent diagnosis of being bi-polar and having to deal with that, but I’m glad it was finally diagnosed and he can now receive the proper treatment to get it under control. I treasure the closeness we share and the fact that we can talk to each other about anything and everything, and that I am there for him when he needs me. He has given me unending support and encouragement about my transition, and he is always there for me when I need to talk or I just need a hug. I’ve been blessed with two wonderful sons, and I am so proud of the men they’ve grown up to be.

And a special thank you and a big hug to all my friends who have been so supportive and encouraged me when I was feeling so down. You didn’t give up on me, and that meant more than you’ll ever know. I’ve had the pleasure to get to know so many wonderful people on-line, and I thank you all for your friendship and hope to these friendships grow in the coming years.

Happy New Year to everyone, and I wish you all the best in 2012!

Rebecca