I keep hoping that I’ll have some good news to share at some point, but unfortunately today isn’t it. I didn’t get the job I interviewed for last month, but I do have two more conformed interviews; one next week and the other is yet to be scheduled. The roller-coaster ride continues, alternating between hope and despair. I had been feeling a lot more optimistic lately than I have in a long time, but not getting the job was another blow to deal with. I keep telling myself that at some point this nightmare has to end, but on days like this it’s tough to make myself believe that.
I decided not to go to Oregon to see my mom and sister because the situation just got way too complicated, and I don’t deal very well with complications these days. After having decided a couple of months ago to tell my mom that I was trans, I later decided to hold off because she’s going through a really rough time right now with her husband's declining health and weighing the possibility of selling their house and moving into an assisted care apartment in the retirement complex they live in. She’s very stressed and my sister thinks she’s also depressed. So, if I went to visit them next week it would mean having to tell her I'm trans, and I just don’t think she can handle that right now. Plus I was very concerned about ruining the vacation for everyone with this issue hanging over everything, and the possibility that my mom wouldn’t handle the news too well. So I just felt if was best if I didn’t go. I’m disappointed that I won’t get to see my mom and sister, and it hurts because the reason is my being transsexual. Hopefully I’ll get to see them another time, but I really worry about the possibility that I may never see my mom again since she’s getting older and has her own health issues to deal with.
I’m worn out and I think I’ll go to bed early and read. Tomorrow is a new day and hopefully I can put this latest setback behind and keep moving forward.
3 comments:
Sorry that the rip was called off, I have found family take it the hardest where you would hope for unconditional support...
Your interview technique must be well up to speed by now and all that practice will eventually pay off.
You spoke of the ideal job coming up, hope that is one of the interviews. Good luck.
The trip would probably do you a lot of good right now, but you're probably doing the right thing in not giving your mother any more additional stress.
I think of you often. I know I've said this before, but you'll get that job, Rebecca.
Calie xxx
Looks like Caroline and Calie said it all.
The only thing I will add is that I am still praying very hard for you in the job department. Please, do not lose faith. God is very gracious and will provide. I've been out of work for almost 18 months now myself, but I have faith that the Lord will supply my needs.
There will be another opportunity to visit your mother and sister, and to have that talk with your mom.
Sleep tight!
Blessings, Prayers, and Hugs
Cynthia XX
Post a Comment