In an earlier post I noted that since the initial conversation my father and I had after I came out to him that he hasn’t brought it up again, and I wondered if he was having trouble dealing with it and avoiding the subject, or if he was okay with it and it was a non-issue. Well, it turns out it’s the former. My oldest son talked with my dad last night and he’s having a really tough time dealing with the fact that I’m transsexual, and he’s worried that I’ll feel hurt because he feels that way. In the earlier letters and phone call I went out of my way to assure him that I understood this was a tough thing for him to deal with and that I’d give him as much time as he needed. I wish he would talk to me about how he’s feeling instead of talking to my sister and son, but I guess for now he’s more comfortable talking to them than to me. My son has been really supportive and understanding, so hopefully it helps my dad to talk with him. I feel like I did as much as I could to break the news to him as gently as possible, but I still feel really bad that he’s struggling with it so much. My dad said he’d call sometime this week, so hopefully we can have a productive conversation to help him feel more at ease with the situation. This is difficult enough for us, but it’s even worse to know that I’m causing my dad so much stress and worry.
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4 comments:
While my parents clearly knew that there was something different about me like most people they were unlikely to have even considered"transsexual" as a possibility and would have had no real understanding what that would have meant.
I was so long getting anything done about transition that they were long gone. Part of me did not want to have to tell them even though I left home the moment I could leave for university.
I hope you get to explain to your father what it means and put his mind at rest.
Hi Rebecca,
While this doesn't sound like good news, it's not really bad either. You thought he might have a tough time with it, and he is. But, it doesn't sound like he has rejected you. At least he is talking to your two best allies, your son and your sister. Feel confident that they can help him over the hump, to where he can speak to you a little more comfortably.
As always, I will be praying for your father to see you as the beautiful daughter he is gaining, not the son he is losing. Look to the Lord for strength and peace.
Like Caroline said, I hope you get to ease your father's concerns
Just continue to show him and tell him that you love him and that nothing is going to change that.
Prayers and Hugs,
Cynthia XX
I have to agree with Cynthia. Not good news but also not bad news. It could be much worse. Just read some of the other blogs out there.
Give him time, Rebecca. It sounds like he is processing it and that's better than ignoring it.
Calie xxx
That's hard. I think a lot of people are uncomfortable about it and yet they act supportive because they want to be there for you.....sometimes it takes time to process. My dad is still at this point as well.
*hugs*
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