WARNING: If you’re looking for an entertaining and upbeat entry, then please turn back now, because this isn’t it. I have nothing particularly witty or pithy to say, this is basically just me whining. Woe is me.
I haven’t written anything in a while because nothing interesting has been happening in my life, and I guess I just haven’t felt much like writing. The creative juices haven’t been flowing this week.
I feel like my life is still on hold and I’m not making any progress with anything, which is really frustrating. There are certain issues which seem to be dragging on interminably and taking forever to be resolved, and it’s really starting to wear on me. The uncertainty is tough to deal with. I need answers so I move on with my life in whatever direction the future holds for me. I was supposed to meet with my therapist today, but of course that was cancelled too. How ironic is that??? I had been hoping to have some things resolved by the time I meet with her again, to have a better idea of how to move forward, so perhaps that may still happen with the appointment being rescheduled to Thursday.
Sorry for the downer post. Next time I promise to write a cheerful entry about rainbows, puppy dogs, kittens, butterflies, and the aroma of freshly baked bread.
Rebecca
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5 comments:
Honey, I'll take the freshly baked bread but you can keep the rainbows, puppies and etceteras. Transition seems to be just overflowing with being put on hold. But just because somethings aren't getting anywhere doesn't mean nothing is. You're learning more about yourself, you're learning about other people. Women deal with frustration everyday, just think of this as a learning experience!
Love,
Sophie
I definitely understand your frustration Rebecca. I feel that way so much of the time. Physical transition is slow. My transition related appointments are space out very far. On a day to day or week to week basis, sometimes I feel like I'm nearly standing still
It is like Sophie said though. You really aren't standing still. The major milestones are far apart, but I bet little things are happening all the time. You might start seeing the effects of HRT soon. At that point, every day is taking you slowly closer on your biological goals.
Also, I find that with each day I accept myself and my path, that I'm a little more confident, a little happier about myself, and a little stronger, making it easier to handle the social challenges.
Things are happening with you, I'm sure. Hang in there hon.
:)
Awww hope things start to look up and get resolved for you girl! *hugs*
As always I appreciate your thoughtful replies and your support. It's not that I feel my transition is going too slowly; I have a general timeline and the idea all along was to go slowly so I didn’t rush into anything before I was ready and to make sure things were okay with my kids before I decide to tell them. The problem is that my entire life is in limbo until I figure out what is going on with my memory and my ability to think. I’m scared to death about this and the longer I have to wait for the test results the more stressed I get. To be honest, transitioning is the least of my concerns right now. I meet with my neurologist on the 16th, so at least I know I’ll find out the test results then. Hopefully.
Hi Rebecca,
I'm reading this late - as usual. Nothing wrong with downer posts. I do them all too often. When I first started my blog, I thought it was going to be a way for me to showcase my weird sense of humor. That has rarely happened. Instead, I need to do the downer posts once in a while as a way to get it out of my system. It really helps me to write about it and I'm sure it helps you also.
Calie xxx
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