After not hearing from my mom for nearly a week she finally replied to an e-mail I had sent over the weekend. Her replies were very short and terse, and it’s clear she doesn’t want to deal with this and wishes I hadn’t told her. I never expected that she’d react this way. I never in a million years would have thought my dad would handle the news better than my mom. In my coming out letter I suggested it might help her to talk to my sister about this, so my sister called last night but she deliberately didn’t bring it up herself just to see if my mom would, but my mom never did. I feel extremely discouraged right now. I know she probably needs more time, which is fine; I’ll keep a low profile and let her contact me if she wants to. My mom raised me and we’ve always had a very close relationship, and it just hurts that she is having so much trouble accepting this. I almost regret telling her now. But what’s done is done and I just have to hope she eventually becomes more accepting.
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5 comments:
It is always so sad to hear of a mother behaving like this. She was willing to accept whatever popped out when she conceived, so why would she hesitate to support that child at some time in the future.
I am sure that you made it clear that you understand that she would have had no idea about you and could have done little to help and no grudge felt...
I have found the older generation the most supportive and they were the generation I did not wish to embarrass!
Hope time heals...
I am in the exact same predicament as you. Only its my dad struggling to accept things.
The only advice i can give is to just keep the lines of communication open. Be approachable and make sure that those around you are working to help matters.
Dont make them take sides but do encourage them to talk on your behalf where possible.
I cam out to my dad on October 19th (Ironically it was Trans 'Spirit' day), Ive had a handful of conversations with him since but until now he's avoided seeing me.
Hopefully you can just be you and carry on as best you can.
xoxox
Rebecca, it was better that she heard this news from you rather than someone else in the family. At least she has heard the true story and reason, and not a story tainted with Lord knows only what insinuations.
From someone who can relate: *BIG HUGS*
I feel for you - to expose the real you and find that people struggle to accept is so hard.
I do hope that she can find the strength to work through this and find acceptance
Becca
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