I told my mom last Tuesday that I was trans, and we exchanged a few brief e-mails after that, but no word from her since then, which kind of worries me. My oldest son called her Saturday and they talked for a while. He said she’s still really overwhelmed and is worried about what to call me, and also feels bad because she feels like she should have helped me with this when I was younger. I specifically addressed both these issues at length in the e-mail I sent her, so I don’t quite understand why she’s having such a tough time with them. I understand that as a parent you want to protect your child, but there would have been very little she or anyone else could have done back then. I don’t want her to dwell on the past, I want her to focus on the present. I e-mailed her yesterday specially addressing those two issues, but she hasn’t replied yet. Hopefully today. My son also said she wasn’t ready to talk with me yet, and it makes me wonder how long until she is ready to talk. I guess I feel a bit discouraged right now. I’ll just have to keep waiting…
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3 comments:
What hope did parents have of helping back then?
Even today life is a complete lottery as to wether your parents have managed to become educated in the storm of negative media bigotry and religious hatred.
Just where you were born can be the difference between absolutely no hope and a rapid and seamless acceptance and transition all within the "united" States!
This is never an easy subject to bring up...
Whenever i came out to people i always made sure i approached every angle and answered questions etc.
Then i'd try to leave them alone for a few days and then do the 'follow up' chat, where i ask them if they have any questions and remind them that if they wanna ask anything i'd rather they just ask me instead of bottling anything up for fear of embarrassment.
Mostly ive had only good 'coming out' experiences x
Caroline:
Exactly. And I covered that exact point in detail in my letter to her. I told her I'd have probably ended up worse off if she had tried to get me help back then.
Samantha:
That's the frustrating part, I did cover all these subjects at length in the letter so she wouldn't have to deal with feeling guilty or worry about what to call me now. I tried to anticipate any questions and concerns she would have and address those at length in the letter. I left her alone for almost a week, and she finally replied to an e-mail I sent over the weekend. But she's clearly not dealing with this well at all.
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