Monday musings

I applied for another position where I work, in a different department. I’ve been at my current job for nine years, and have felt very stagnant and unproductive for a long time. To be perfectly honest, I hate my job. Don’t get me wrong, I feel very fortunate to have a job, with the economy in tatters and unemployment so high. One reason I am looking for something else is because I feel like I don’t have much job security now, that I’d be one of the first to be let go in the event of layoffs. My position is not a critical job, and the person I work for will probably be retiring in the next few years. But more importantly, I know that working for years at a job I hate and dread going to has taken a toll on me. I need a job where I feel productive and where I feel good about what I’m doing. I need something that challenges me. It’s definitely time for a change. But change is scary, especially when I’m just starting my transition. At my current job I’m pretty much left alone and I don’t have to interact with people too often, which is a double-edged sword. I’ve become more withdrawn over the past ten years and the solitude of this job fits right in with that mindset. But I also realize that isn’t a healthy thing and that I need to get back to being more social and outgoing. But that’s kind of a scary thought while the transitioning, but I know it’s necessary. I also worry about how accepting my potential new colleagues would be about working with a transsexual. Again, I know this is something I need to face and that I have to learn to deal with these situations. But all things considered, the pluses far outweigh the minuses, and the unknowns. So, we’ll see what comes of this.

Thanks for all your kind comments on the previous two posts about the end of a friendship. I’m now okay with what happened and have put it behind me. I know this is one of those tough lessons we all have to go through and learn how to deal with.

Nothing new or exciting to report on the HRT. My breasts aren’t nearly as sore as they were earlier, and they aren’t as hard either. I know soreness means growth, but I don’t miss those sudden jolts of pain when they unexpectedly get bumped!

The heat wave continues. We’re under a heat warning until Thursday night, but as of now they’re forecasting significantly cooler temperatures next week. We can only hope.

The garden seems to be making a comeback. The tomato blight has slowed down after some aggressive pruning and fungicide treatments. The main issue now is the heat. The majority of the new buds had been drying up and dying, so I’m not getting a whole lot of new tomatoes growing. It’s been a weird season for melons. The watermelon plants had grown really well and had tons of buds, but every time a melon started growing it dried up and died. And then we finally had one growing, which got to be about the size of a baseball, but something got to it and ate holes in it. There’s one more growing, about the size of a marble, so we’ll see how that one fares. We had three cantaloupes that were doing really well, but one just broke off the vine for some reason well before it finished ripening. I don’t think we’ll be able to get it to ripen enough to eat, but we’ll see. Last year we had lots of watermelons and cantaloupes. The beans are doing well but the peas couldn’t survive the heat.

And now I must bid you all a fond adieu, as it’s time to go grab my yogurt for lunch!